What causes out of character behaviours in children?
Parents at logger heads underestimate the impact their attitude and behaviour have on their beloved children who are God’s cherished priceless gifts. Parents come from a place of scarcity with limiting beliefs and feel the need to control every situation. They do not realise that they cannot control even themselves because the greater invisible forces can change everything. They seek revenge, fuel their ego, and proof to be superior to the other parent. What is the need to compare and compete?
Their need to control increases their anxiety and unhappiness. Not being authentic to oneself, the controlling parents remain the pleasers. They put in wasted efforts to remain on top of their game. They portray their public selves by flashing happy and loving photos on social media and at events. Whereas the private self is miserable, and at the dawn of night their eyes remain open as they fight with racing negative thoughts. All they hope for is to plan other manipulative strategies. Their nights are long, and they curse their past and others for their current situations. Nothing is ever their fault, they take no accountability and since they have learned to be helpless, they portray to be the victim. They want all the attention to centre around them so they fuel their ego.
Parents put high expectations on the children and fail to acknowledge or praise them for their achievements. Parents provide material and fancy items to their children and say they ‘give them everything’. Parents are not emotionally available and with their low levels of emotional intelligence, fail to recognise or understand the children’s emotional struggles. Talking about emotions at home is rare and when attempts are made, children are ignored or called names by other family members. Children shut off, blame themselves and feel ashamed. When they are complemented by an outsider, it is quickly rejected. This sounds strange as children are used to negative comments or being ignored with the expectation to act ‘as they are told’. They feel trapped and with the emotions building up, they start to display behaviours that are out of character.
Parents ask yourself these questions:
1) What influences the decision I make about my child(ren)?
2) Is this in my personal interest or the best interest of my child?
3) What out-of-character behaviours have your child(ren) displayed within the last few months?
4) What can you do to help your children?