Updated: Dec 23, 2021
I had a consultation with a parent who said their main challenge was the children’s behaviour. Everything else including employment, health, bills, and so on were well managed.
As I explored the challenges, the parent shared various behaviours that the children displayed. They talked of using different reinforcement strategies and the children’s behaviour would improve but that lasted for a very short time. The parent had run out of options on what strategy to use next.
The parent did not understand the children’s emotional experiences nor their thought processes. They identified that communication was limited.
As the parent spoke, all I could hear, and feel was their insecurities. I shared this with the parent who initially seemed surprised that I asked that question instead of focusing on their children’s behaviour.
I explore further and eventually the parent acknowledged some of their insecurities. I suggested to the parent to focus on healing from their negative past experiences rather than putting a lot of expectations on their children.
The direction of the conversation was not what the parent expected. However, it helped them to gain insight of how they projected their insecurities onto their children.
Without awareness of your internal state, it is easy to put the blame of others.
You may be at the stage of your live where you think other people, situations and/or things are problematic in your life.
Remember, you have beliefs and mindset that shape the way you see yourself, others, and the world and how you relate to them.
What you think is the problem, is actually NOT problem.
This might sound absurd that YOU created the problem by the way you THINK about it; and then repeating ‘that’ version of the story to yourself that it becomes your reality.
You do not have to live that way. You can change your beliefs and mindset by:
- identifying the unsupportive beliefs;
- identifying the limiting mindset;
- get clarity on the beliefs and mindset that are impacting your life;
- take actions to replace the unsupportive beliefs with supportive ones;
- develop a growth mindset.
PS – If you want to take control of what happens in your life rather than blaming other people, situations and things, then SEND me a message let’s have a conversation.