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Why are People Scared to Learn about Managing their Emotions

We experience many emotions daily. Some are 'positive' whilst most are 'negative'. We would want to experience desired emotions most of the time rather than undesirable emotions. Our diverse emotional experiences enable us to differentiate and appreciate our daily emotions. These emotions stem from specific event(s), thoughts, or our bodily responses.

We want to experience desired emotions, but when we experience undesired emotions, we feel scared to learn about the underlying issues. We limit ourselves from understanding and developing ways to manage our emotions better. Individuals have unique reasons  why they might be scared of learning to manage their emotions. Some of these reasons include:


Managing emotions often involves exploring and expressing one's feelings, which can make individuals feel vulnerable. Some people fear judgment or rejection if they open up about their emotions.

Social Stigma

Some cultures or communities have stigmas talking about emotions or feelings. When people experience undesirable emotions or feelings, they would not want to be stigmatised as their struggles may increase. They will prefer to 'suffer in silence' and not seek appropriate help for their emotional issues. This can create a fear of being perceived as weak or incapable.

Unfamiliar Territory

Some individuals feel scared talking about their emotions as it might be unfamiliar and uncomfortable. They might fear the unknown or worry that they may not be able to handle what they discover. Some would prefer to 'live in ignorance'.

Fear of Change

Improving emotional intelligence and learning to manage emotions often involves making changes in behaviour and mindset. Fear of change, even when it is positive can be a powerful restrictive factor.

Past Trauma

Individuals who have experienced past trauma or negative emotional experiences may be reluctant to revisit and confront those feelings. The fear of re-experiencing pain can be a significant barrier to emotional growth.

Lack of Skills

Some people may feel overwhelmed by thinking of learning new skills related to emotional management. They might doubt their ability to develop and apply these skills effectively.

Cultural Factors

Cultural norms and expectations can play a role in shaping attitudes toward emotions. In some cultures, expressing certain emotions might be discouraged, leading to fear or discomfort in dealing with them. Without having the vocabulary to explain certain feelings, it can be hard to know how to manage them well.


Individuals experiencing low self-esteem may struggle with the belief that they are not worthy of investing time and effort into improving their emotional wellbeing. They may feel undeserving of self-care.

To overcome these fears often involves a combination of self-awareness, a supportive environment, and gradual steps toward emotional growth. Encouraging a positive and understanding approach to emotional wellbeing can help create a safer space for individuals to explore and manage their emotions. Professional support from life coaches, therapists, counsellors, or support groups can also be valuable in navigating these challenges.

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